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Almost a year later, Lionel rings his mother and tells her that they are expecting a baby.
His mother doesnt slam down the phone but says, very politely and unemotionally, "Thats nice, son, Im happy for you both."Eight months later, Lionel again rings his mother and says, "Mum, I just want to say that last night my wife gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy.
I would have invited you, but I know that woman you live with would have never let you come.
I bet she's never even watched that videotape of my haemorrhoid surgery, has she?
Give my love to my darling grand-babies and my regards to whatever-her-name-is -- the one with the black roots who stole you screaming from my bosom.
Sophia and Hannah are discussing the best ways to make their young sons finish their meals.
He opens the fridge to look for the olives and notices that taped to the inside of the door is a risqué photo of a lovely, slender, perfectly built, but naked young woman.
Sidney passes by a pet shop in Oxford Street and notices a parrot in the window selling for £1,000. The salesman tells him the parrot speaks five languages.
Dear Son, I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Debbie, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Debbie.
Sophia says, "As an Italian mother, I put on a fierce look and say to Primo, if you dont finish your meal, Im going to kill you.
It works most of the time."Freda had long been suspicious of a relationship between Henry and Debbie and this had only made her more curious.
The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother.
I put them in the freezer so they'll stay fresh for my grave. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral, so Aunt Minnie and I dug her up and had the services all over again.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Freda started to wonder if there was more between Henry and Debbie than met the eye.