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We pass around a joint, conversing every few minutes about a message we’ve received (“this guy’s hot”; “come look at this fairy”; “this fucking asshole just stopped responding”), either from a handsome prospect who lives a few floors down or the silver fox who’s 836 feet away, but the night ends as it started, with four single, fledgling gay millennials, supine and slightlystoned.In places like New York City, sex, or the prospect of it, is laughably easy to procure thanks to Grindr, which launched in 2009, when my friends and I were closeted 14-year-olds, going to high school in provincial suburban towns, watching our straight classmates dip their toes into the world of promiscuity as we hunkered down and studied, sexless.Its beauty standards are as unapologetically mainstream — and often racist — as they come: chiseled, young, Caucasian,“masc.” On Grindr, though, there’s little time to bask in your insecurities or your politics.After all, there are hundreds of other torsos within a couple thousand feet, each perfectly willing to forgo perfunctory chitchat if it means they’ll get laid quicker.
Once a year, this mother’s-worst-nightmare of an event bring scantily clad performance artists, pyrotechnics, some of the world's biggest DJs, and thousands of costumed party-goers out for two of Seattle's wildest nights.
I never craved intimacy, or romance, for that matter, but now, after living in New York City for three years, I wonder if I’m somewhat ill-equipped for it, incapable of shedding this digital armor of, “they just stop responding.” I tell him I’ve done precisely that to others and have had it done to me; after all, despite the millions of users on Grindr, there’s a procedural universality to the way it’sagain.” This is the most appealing feature of Grindr, its hedonistic, no-nonsense culture; from its impishly forthright profiles to the compulsory exchange of dirty photos, its style of candid, prurient correspondence can make bar small talk seem impossibly profound.
My Grindr profile is nameless, largely unidentifiable.
Whether dark tantra or a bit of role-play is your bag, Interbay's Foundation for Sex Positive Culture is THE place to brush up on your skills.
FSPC hosts many events every month, ranging from rope enthusiast workshops to sacred sexuality meet-ups -- keep track on their online calendar here.
Also worth noting -- there isn’t anything wrong with lying out in the buff in Washington State as long are you aren’t creating "reasonable affront or alarm”, so play it cool.